I'm gonna bite you!!!!!

Idolisms Presents: Jessica and Phil Sing For the Crown!

Jessica and Phil,  singing on the stage, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Ha! Only one of them will pop out as a winner, and it's not Heejoon! (see later on)

Idolismers… we are down to the final two!

THEIR STORIES BEGAN ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE COAST

THEY SHARED THE SAME DRIVE

THEY SHARED THE SAME FEARS

THEY SHARED THE SAME DREAM

NOW THEY SHARE THE STAGE

ONE LAST TIME

HOW WILL THEIR STORY END?

IT’S UP TO YOU

I just threw up in my mouth! Aghh! So deliciously corny, a textbook example of something that helped inspire the creation of Idolisms.

The Judges:

I want to take a bite out of J Lo because she is shaped like an apple.

If I owned the Flyers, I would wear Randy’s jacket.

Steven’s style I still can’t pinpoint. Cross breed of a gypsy mistress/hippie mother…. Well, better with clothes on than this! ........

Seacrest (his hair)

Don’t touch it, because we getting’ prickly tonight! 

Tonight, Ryan broke out his new uber legit gel…. He is using Simon Cowell’s nipple hair product, called ‘The Chest Factor........’ 

Whoa…. That’s a lotta hair!! Interesting product.

You see, Jessica knew Phil would make it further so she left Heejoon and let Phil have a gander at Chinatown… Heejoon’s pissed! He looks like the Asian Unibomber.

Round 1: Idol creator Simon Fuller’s choice…. (Um, who the hell cares????)

Round 2: The contestants favorite song.

Round 3: Jessica and Philip’s potential winning song.

I.

Jessica: Singing Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing.” She is wearing a  ring pop.

Jessie really sings the hell out of this song. It seems like her confidence has came back at the right time, because she nails (nails… haha) it.

Phil: He is singing “Stand By Me.” It starts out sounding completely different, and I appreciate Phil for the unpredictability he brings to the table. The pre-ejaculatory guitarist really added some unpredictable elements to the performance as well.

Phil certainly made it his own, no problem there… but I found the song a little too folky for me… so I’m getting a handie from Jessie for this round.

The dude Jason Derulo, who was a guest performer in a show earlier in the season, was the guy who had on a blinged out out neck brace is...... He is back tonight...... 

And standing on a metal fold out chair….

Why?!?!?!?!? Not the best idea for someone that just broke their broke their spine….. what an idiot!

II.

Jessie: She is singing Celine Dion’s “The Prayer” and I swear to god I closed my eyes and believed I was Garrett from ‘The Quest for Camelot”

Garrett, what in the hell are you going to do with that finger of yours?

Phil Phil: Phil picks out Billy Joel’s “Movin’ Out.” Phil Phil, Unplugged. At first it sounds genius, but it eventually gets a little boring… that is, until awesome saxophonist chick appears on the TV!!!! YES! I love this chick, she rocks!

And she is sitting on a piano, wearing SAXY BOOTS!  

Speaking of the boot, whose getting it?

Round II goes to Philip Phils for me. Way to Phil Jessica up, Fill.

BTW, this is how Idol should always be…. No dragging out, an hour long instead of two hours, minimal unoriginal judge feedback…. Know what I mean, DT?

III.

Jessica is singing a track called “Change Nothing.” I don't know the song, obviously, but I would change, something. The beginning sounded garbled, but that’s Ok, because the song sucked! And all I could do was look at Jessica’s chiclet teeth and gingivitis gums flap. 

Phil is singing his original song called “Home.” At first it sounds like "Hey There Delilah", then I hear the usual DMB element, some Paul Simon and strange activity going on with his knees (reminded me of pitter pat kneepcap Paul from last season!)

Phil had the Bela Fleck folk thing going for him, and a solid dash of Coldplay brit pop for Bob! The intense drummer boy with the goatee in the background was creepily awesome too. 

Hey, I can really see this guy making an album right now! Phil’s gotta be the winner…. He is great! 

Someone that has been liked by all since the beginning. The judges give it a standing O. Randy breaks out his dude, yo, dawg, yada yada yada. Brilliant. Genius. It was!!! Phil is the best contestant left, is in it to win it, and I hope he does win it.

Yo, Season 11 was pretty friggin’ fantastic! What tremendous talent! Seriously, the talent this year was supreme. It was entertaining each and every week! Sure, the shows were dragged out, and the judges said the same unoriginal crap… 

Steven thought this season was beautiful.

Andy feels slim!

Slim Andy gets action.

but hopefully Idolisms still managed to rock your world. This might be the end to Idolisms in the blogspot world, but you will always be an Idolismer......Hey, Idolisms brings fame!!!!

Scotty comes out on stage and sings his big hit.....

I put my remote control to my head and pull it’s imaginary trigger, as if it were a revolver........ Goodnight my Idolismers.... You are appreciated, and I feel blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. :)

SAMITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            OUT.

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

TOP 3 BABY! GIDDY UP

TOP 3

Getting down to the wire! The final three!!! 

JOSHUA LEDET

THE FLAMBOYANT GUY

JESSICA SANCHEZ

THE CROSSING GUARD

PHIL PHIL

COME SEE DAVE

Who will get Gold? Who will get Silver? Who will get Bronze? We don't take bronze.

THE JUDGES:

J Lo isn't dressed professional as opposed to the usual ho-fessional.

Randy is balling in a Salmon colored jacket. Mr G has the same one.

Steven is  and then puts his cape over his head to sleep.

Seacrest has got the zuit suit riot hair gel and is telling the audience to talk to his hand. He is not wearing a tie clip! Really, Ryan?????

3 Rounds tonight! Whoa, that’s a good thing because they won’t have much time to drag it out, we’ll be getting Idol action in high doses. But it’ll still wind up being dragged out…

I: Judges song choice

II: Contestants song choice

III: Jimmy’s song choice

Who will take down each round?

Round 1:

Josh 1: Singing an Etta James song. More appropriate for Josh’s style of singing, rather than little Jessica from the week before… but it's still too old fashioned… I didn’t know it, and a handful of his voters didn’t which doesn’t help him. But Josh killed it and had some cool scatting parts. He got really into it and started making out with the microphone too.

Sanchez: Singing Mariah Carey’s “My All.” Before hearing it, I think it’s great for her. This is Jessica’s time to get back into my Smarty Jones seat. Blahhhh, Jessica sucks! I loved her in the beginning (I’ve never been with an Asian...) She really had to blow me, away tonight in order for me to not rag on Heejoon’s girl (BTW, did you see how bitter Heejoon looked in the crowd? Heejoon was no longer making funny faces in the camera….  Jess has gotta go.

The judges loved it… come on….no.

Phil Phil: Singing “Beggin” by Madcon. A hip hop group that gained popularity when played on the show Entourage, but still, most people do know it. It’s not so Dave Matthews like, yet Philip somehow turns it that. But that’s Phil for ya. He’s unique, but unoriginal. But he sang the best in Round I and he takes it down.

Round II:

Josh went home to Louisiana and chilled with Drew Brees (Josh had no idea who he was). Josh also pulled the Richard Gere gerbil experiment.

Josh chose to conduct the experiment with crawfish....

Josh is singing the song “Imagine,” a much better choice than the first song, but still a strange selection. He should stick with the “Man’s world” type songs, where he can take it to church and it sounds natural and not pushed. He went all soft on this song and didn’t show off his huge and amazing voice. This was not one of my fave performances by Josh.

Steven called it “beautiful.” Shocker.

Jessica goes home to Singapore to visit her family and we see a clip of her baking a cuticle crusted apple pie. She also told us about her blog:

She is singing “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith….........

Really??? Ballsy! In front of the guy that sang it?? Look at him, is he happy about that?

She could’ve picked any song and she chooses an Aerosmith song to sing in front of Steven? I hate her now. Bad call… and it wasn’t even good. Way too slow, not enough pop to it. When she takes it slow she doesn’t sound good. The songs she sang when I liked her, they were uptempo and she moved around more so it was tougher to see that she was actually a Holocaust survivor (eek, sorry) The only nice thing about the performance was that they allowed some girls from Jessica’s family to be apart of it:

Time for Sanchez to slip on the boot.

Phil Phil: In Phil’s hometown trip, we watch him string a guitar while chewing on a pick, for the entire clip in his room that’s filled with Dave Matthews posters. AWKWARD!

Phil Philly chooses the song “Disease” by Matchbox 20, and the saxophone chick is back at it again! I love her! 

Should I say she is saxy because she rips the horn? Righttt... And Phil did a solid job too, considering he was singing about the STD he just contracted from Elise….

Round III: Jimmy’s choices. Jimmy is dressed in his track suit, hat and tinted lenses, looking like Snooki’s Dad. He can’t hold his pee any longer and lets it flow while talking with Ryan. 

But Jimmy has knocked Randy off the pedestal of whose opinion I value the most.

Josh is singing “No More Drama” by Mary J Blige. 

Wow, what a great choice for him! Lots of passion and emotion in the song, but I don't love it at all. He could’ve dug way deeper. He held back a lot, on a song where he could’ve taken advantage of his powerful and dramatic voice. I also saw him grab his nuts multiple time. Did he catch the STD from Phil’s song? Josh isn’t doing it for me tonight. He is the best voice but I don’t think he is the full package. I didn't love Josh tonight but I think he will be safe and certainly deserves it.

Jessica: Jimmy picks Jackson 5 for Jessica. Singing “I’ll be there,” this is Jessica’s last chance to redeem herself before the voting begins… Unbelievable fro's:

She needs this bad if she wants to advance....but it wasn’t impressive at all… Once again, a song that isn’t very upbeat, and it’s apparent Jessica has some discomfort with her young age and inexperience shows when she is interviewed. I still think she is a cute toothpick, but she should get the boot.

Phil: Jimmy picks out a Bob Seger song, “We’ve Got Tonight.” Here is a sort of creep pic of Bob:

A great chance for Philly boy to steal the show, with a song people know and a song that is different than his usual style, which I think will work for him… and it does! He sings it like something I haven’t heard before and I hadn’t heard him sing a ballad before. He sings with no guitar, hitting falsetto notes… Lot’s of things out of his comfort zone, and he does them very well. Great job ill Phil!

Tonight was one of the weaker shows for me. I think I’m just itching to crown the winner, being that we are now officially in the final stretch. Also some sadness that Idolisms is soon ending for the season, and possibly retiring, (while on top.) But for now, we are staying in it to win it.

Results tonight.... Pumped.

Andrew.   Out