Idol Finale: The Boy Next Door vs. The Southern Bell

The first half of the Superbowl of American Idol has arrived! The final two contestants have been decided and are IN IT TO WIN IT!

Seacrest Powerpoint: When does a dream begin and how will that dream end?

America will decide the fate of of our finalists, 16 year old Lauren Alaina from Georgia and 17 year Scotty McCreery from North Carolina..  Whose it gonna be folks? I already know....... A country singer! Ahhh, probably won’t be buying either of their albums, but I’ll rip it from napster! Tonight's show is part 1 of a 2 part American Idol season finale.

The judges come out and I am shocked to see the horrific jacket Randy is wearing. It’s an orange? plaid, striped double breasted coat with a black Count Chocula collar....go flyers? (unfortunately I couldn’t find a picture) Strange. Steven always dresses pretty outrageous and pulls it off and J Lo’s rocking the sexy glitter dress with her hair blown out, stunning as usual, or shall we steal her word and say “amazing!”

Seacrest’s hair: First off, before the hair, he is wearing a tux with a bow tie! Upping his game for the finale? No trendy skinny tie this week...

And his hair is finally back to the usual Seacrest, funky, short, spiky and no poor attempt to switch it up by having the sidepart. Still, an abundance of bed head are nestled throughout his calics.

The stage looks awesome. This show is definitely supposed to be another banger.... The Boy Next Door vs. The Southern Bell... Me likey! Not me likey country, just Idolismology in general. Breaking it down like Seacrest would. You know, it to win it....

So...the Boy Next Door vs. The Southern Bell: They come on stage holding hands which is cute, but pretty corny. Do you think they are shady doing a little smoochie behind stage? Does Lauren want Scotty to allow her to strum his guitar and yeeeeee haw?

Scotty is dressed as a wanna-be Urban Outfitter model in a “boutique” tee, while Lauren is back to making a second attempt at trying out for the Oakland Raiders cheerleading squad, while still rocking the Hoops (there it is!)

The scoop: Round 1 will be the contestant’s favorite song of the season, and Round 2 is something new where our idols choose their idols to pick their songs. Carrie Underwood will pick a song for Lauren, while George Strait picks a song for Scotty.

Scotty’s up, singing “Gone.” Sure hope so! He is now wearing a black leather jacket:

But all of a sudden, he is back! The Violinist with the garter belt! Hilarious! (again, cannot find a picture!) Scotty doesn’t do too bad. The judges don’t vote because they already have in one of the earlier shows. And as for the voting, the contestants now have 4 numbers each.... which is confusing as hell! 

Lauren’s on. She is singing "Flat on the Floor” her outfit sort of matches her microphone! The creepy violinist is back on stage too, again! Lauren really gives it her all and pulls out some big notes. I think she killed it and definitely takes the cake Round 1 for me.

2nd Round:

Scotty is singing his idol George Straits “Check yes or No” He’s got the guitar now and rocking a Mr. G-esque salmon plaid shirt... But something is different about him.. the extremely goofy bastard that he already is, somehow manages to look even goofier now!

Lauren was next and sang Carrie Underwood's “Maybe It was Memphis.” Garter belt violinist guy, jesus... he is back! (Dagnabit why won't won't Google images allow me to find a pic! I'm trying to get to his garter belt!) Lauren's outfit is pretty. Lots of cool ruby necklaces and ring pop bling rings. 

Wasn't a fan of the song, and she was too tame, but she was still very good.

Judging: Randy gave Scotty the slight edge round 1 and Lauren Round 2. J Lo thought they had explosive starts and broke out AMAZING and agreed with Randy’s choices. Steven picked Lauren both rounds because she is prettier than Scotty! I loved that. And of course our vampire Randy breaks out his trademark “THEY ARE BOTH IN IT TO WIN IT!”

Next was a performance by a guy that looked like Akon and I felt like I was at Q Zar playing lazer tag with all of the neon lights.

The second half of the show is on now and as the camera follows Seacrest down the aisle, I see Eleanor Frutt (from the show The Practice) in the audience! 

I suddenly remember that we are about to be going to trial as a nation, to see who will be our next American Idol, and guess who the jury is?? US! YOU!!

Scotty is up first and his video clip comes on where Jimmy is wearing a creme colored Member’s Only jacket, and his standard flex fit ballcap.... Scotty is singing “I Love You This Big.” The performance starts and who do we see first...you guessed it! Violinist..... Apparently he’s the star this evening. Scotty has got the Seacrest look going with the suit jacket on and gel in his hair:

And you see the teeny boppers with their hot pink nails are waving their hands side to side. This would be Scotty’s single and he is singing well and sounds good even on the higher notes. Randy agreed and thought he had great range and called it a brilliant vocal. J Lo said he was a story teller and of course said he did a what? An “Amazing” job. Steven said he took a chance and nailed it. I really don’t mind the kid as much anymore. I certainly still dislike him, but I can see him taking it... but let’s see how Lauren does.

Lauren is up next singing her single if she wins the ship. In the video she talks about singing a song for her Mama who has been by her side the whole time, which I immediately connected with. (Love you Mom!) She comes on stage in a pretty gown, much less exuberant than her previous outfits.

Lauren can’t control her emotions and to me didn’t sound as sharp with her vocals because she was all choked up. Ryan escorts her down the steps and she goes up to her mother and hugs her while still singing.

It was pretty touching, but I'm not sure if that will gain her votes or cause her to lose votes... we shall see!

Judging for Round 3: Randy gives Lauren the edge. J Lo just says it’s a tight race, but I can tell she is pulling for Scotty, and Steven apologizes to Scotty and says Lauren deserves to win.

Wow. Solid show! Tough decision. Well, not for me. I want Scotty gone. But either way, we’re gonna have a young up and coming country singer. Will they pop off like Carrie Underwood? I’m not real into country at all, but I can respect it, and know that each of these kids are young and going to improve their vocals and gain more and more confidence. The future looks bright for both, but unfortunately, tomorrow night, one of them will be getting THE BOOT. 

See you on the stage tomorrow night full the results show, LIVE, on American Idol!!!

Samitz... OUT

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Lauren and Scotty Safe, Haley Get's the Boot

I was pretty sad to see Haley go. We now have the youngest American Idol finals in history. I hate Scotty, but I was happy to let Lauren know that she'd be singing in the Season finale....

Top 3 Tear It Up and Perform 3 Songs Each

Morning Idolismers! Last night, our three finalists performed three songs each: One song they chose them self, another selected by Producer guy Jimmy and a third by the song chosen by the judges.

The Seacrest Powerpoint is back! This time it says: 

Now, they will return home as heroes, 

but their dream is yet to be realized. 

Their goal: to be a superstar.

Love it! Randy looked in it to win it in his royal blue? cashmere sweater and yellow striped tie, J Lo, as usual, shaped like an hour glass and stunning in her glittery silver dress and Steven is always sure to rock a mean pair of bell bottoms, a tubular Cat in the hat hat and a groovy blouse as shown below:

Seacrests hair: Freshie! So you’d assume he wouldn’t need as much gel with less hair now, right? Wrong! Still, the same ridiculous amount of pomade, side partage front spikeage.

Alas, our top 3 come on stage!! Scotty is back to wearing his baby gap jean jacket:

Lauren has on her knee high cowboy boots:

Haley's has on a pretty little dress and is ready to go:

Beyonce-WOW! Miss Bootylicious is guiding them with their first song choice of the night and is prepared to give J Lo a run for her money in the ass department. 

Scotty is the first up and in the video Beyonce calls him incredible, and a cutie pie! Ugh... He is singing “Amazed” by Lonestar which is a song I like, and since it’s the top 3, I’m going to give Scotty a chance….but he still creeps me the hell out no matter what. I thought it was a wack performance. J Lo liked his vibrato which I did not, Steven, enough with the beautiful already! And Randy said it was a smart choice.

After the commercial, we cut to Seacrest, who is surrounded by teeny boppers and the occasional random guy…... Would that random guy be me??? Haha, probably! But I’d like to think that I would be Ryan.J

Lauren is up next and is singing “Wild One” by Faith Hill. Lauren meets with Beyonce in the clip in some more super long leather boots. In the performance, Lauren definitely has fun and is sweet, and her flower earrings are cool:

 but I didn’t dig it. But Randy liked her cutesy tootsy song choice, J Lo calls her a little baby and turns it into a compliment, and Steven always loves her. To me, miss peach needs to step it up.

Haley is up next and is choosing a Led Zeppelin song! Beyonce thought it was an interesting choice, which I agreed with, but says it shows her strength and guts. I was surprised she didn’t choose a more well known Led song, but didn’t care one bit when I found out it was her Father ripping the guitar with her on stage! 

She’s hot and she’s a Daddy’s girl…Immediately I loved it and her even more. It was a clever way to win even more voters. Randy thought so too and said she SLAYED IT, (not sleighed it), and of course broke out his “Haley is in it to win it baby!” Steven sad amazing, J Lo said she showed signs of being a professional. Nice job Haley! Round one for her.

Scotty is back. More normal plaid shirt now, and then they cut to his audition, which I actually liked! 16 at the time, still a deformed head. In his next performance, he is singing chosen by Jimmy  “Are you gonna kiss me or not” by Thomson Square. Was Jimmy asking that question to Scotty? Looking for a little kiss Jimbo??? Was he looking for some Enormous domepiece Scotty loving? Ah, the performance wasn’t bad but he holds his guitar so goofy and just looks so dumb with his huge head. I’m trying to give this kid a chance… J Lo is trying to holler at his short hair, Randy broke it out, again, in it to win it. I love Randy, but I didn’t think he would stoop to the clichés like J Lo and Steven do. I’m much more of a fan of Dude and Yo being repeated 26 times…

Next up is Lauren, and they cut to the  clip of her audition, which is where I fell in love with her first. and when I see that again, I want her to win it! Jimmy chooses her to sing “If I die Young” by the band Perry. Don’t know it but cute dress she was wearing in the performance and catchy tune. 

Her style and her genre and this is the type of music she’ll be making if she makes it. However, I don’t think the song featured her strengths and it wasn’t as upbeat which is what she does better with, but it was still so good! J Lo said she had the most beautiful tone of all the contestants and it was magical. Randy said YO, and agreed with Jen’s tone comment. Steven, did it again, same old. They all mentioned how she missed the key change, but I was happy she didn’t cry. I hope the stumble doesn’t bring her down and give her the boot... And how old is Lauren’s mom? She looks like she could be under 30….. Gitturdone early down south!

Haley is up next and bombshell-esque! They cut to her audition clip where she rips out some Oh Darlin’. Since then, she has improved so much, and that’s what makes her the darkhorse. Jimmy picks a Stevie Nicks song which I think is perfect for the type of artist Haley is looking to portray. The performance started off slow and picked up the pace later, but I wasn’t a fan. L The judges thought it was OK and fit her well but she could have done more to show off her vocal talents.

            For round 2, Steven picks Lauren, and J Lo has a stiffy for Scotty and Randy liked him too….. 3 more performances to cap off the banger:

            In a brief world premier Beyonce Video of “Run the World Girls”, she looks hot riding the bull, the blinged out matador that she is. And blonde Beyonce is hot, but this song was no “single ladies” or “crazy in love”… I’d much rather see Jen performing. After all, J Lo’s ass, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 25.

Scotty is up next, and this is hopefully his last peformance ever on idol stage. He is singing “She Believes In Me” by Kenny Rogers. His face is stupid and he is dressed in a hand me down jacket from Boys Connection

 but it’s much better than his trademark baby gap jean jacket. I’m really hoping this will be the last time Scotty performs. Steven said he put it up over the top and nice going, J Lo said he hit the chorus and was proud, and Randy said he was sweet and tender in the chorus. I hate Scotty but when I saw his Dad interviewed in the audience, I was happy the kid’s made it this far. But it’s time to go Scotty! You goofy predator!

Lauren was next and the judges picked the song “I Hope you Dance” by LeAnn Rimes. Perfect song for her and if she kills it this could allow her to stay. She comes out in one of her pretty gowns

 she usually breaks out, and the song is played up a tempo higher, and it isn’t that impressive. She doesn’t really exemplify how powerful vocals and big voice, and I hate to say it, but this song was a make or break for her and it was her worst of the night, and I’m sad but she may be boot worthy because of this. J Lo said it was beautiful and gave her goosebumps, Randy said he knows that LeAnne  would’ve thought she slayed it. Steven thinks Lauren is so at ease with herself. I agree, but I just thought she could’ve done a much better job with the opportunity to sing a great song by the target audience she is shooting for.

Haley is the last to perform tonight, and she is singing “You outta know” by Alannis Morrisette. 

Starting off weird as hell and I barely recognized it, and then it got horrendous at the low parts! But, she made up for it on the higher parts, however the musical arrangement did her a disservice. Seeing much of the crowd not even out of the chairs, bad sign. Randy said his typical in it to win it, Steven, beautiful, and J Lo really great… They agreed with me that the choruses were good but the rest was pretty bad.

            Steven thought Haley killed it for round 4, and Randy and J lo thought Lauren did.

Haley will most likely be getting the boot, but you know I hope it’s Scotty, and Lauren wasn’t  either too fab either.... Basically, a great bunch of kids but I guess I’m just not impressed with top 3 this week, and I miss 

James,

Pia,

Brett Lowenstern 

and even my puppie Stefano!

But it was a banger as expected and we have a nice top 3! Let's take one last look at them before we let one of them go:

Solid 3 songs each by our top 3. Who will get the boot? We'll find out tonight.

Samitz................OUT

What about J Lo?

Just Can't Get Enough Of Them!!!!

J Lo's piercing gaze makes me weak at the knees....

Cheers to Idolisms Hottest Couple!

Buh-Bye Marc Anthony.....Hello Andrew Samitz!

James Gets the Boot

America was stunned last night when Seacrest revealed that James Durbin would be leaving us. James got the boot? I was realll surprised, and pretty bummed too....I'll talk more about that later, but for now, here's how the rest of the show went:

        OK....... who the hell plays the piano in their panties?? You guessed it, Lady Gaga! She sang her unreleased song, the one that Haley sang the other week. Decent song, but I’m more of a Pokerface guy. Lady Gaga is pretty absurd in the outfits she chooses, but it is quite entertaining to watch a woman play the piano in a thong.

Look how friggin' weird this girl is!!!!! :

 Oh, and thank you to my loved ones that made me aware of my misspelling "SLEIGH" I meant “slay.” It appears I was hoping for an early Christmas, thinking of the reindeer and Santa’s sleigh..….Ok, so all you Idolismers out there, you guys SLAYED IT!!

Seacrest announces: Lauren Alaina….safe!          WINNING

Yes! Does this mean Bobby Hill will be in the bottom 3???

Is this the day we send Scotty home? Sure hope so…

 I'm a fan of the Ford commercials. Gotta love them! They’re colorful. The Focus looks like a cool car; but I’m very content with Pop's Cadillac (Throw Some D’s On That Bitch!)

         And then we have Mr. Iglesias........ Oh Enrique...... I always wonder why the hell it took him so long to remove his enormous mole… And his was real! (Unlike Gaga) But this hunk certainly looks like he’s been blending his Creatine and sipping his Ripped Fuel… Enrique is cut like a blender! And why the hell was he pouring protein shakes all over himself last night????

 Jordin Sparxx performance was on next and she looked slim, trim and sexy in her skimpy silver trenchcoat. And even better when she took it off, to reveal a skimpy, black and glittered dress, which reminded me of something a figure skater would wear. She performed the song "I Am Woman".... Oh yes you are!!!! See below:

 Jordin Sparxx Performance

Steven Tyler’s music video was pretty awesome with all the wild animals and the color transitions. Dude is still rockin’ and rollin’. Him slapping Five with the elephant was hilarious, and what a lucky guy to be able to be playing pattycake on Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger butt cheeks...................Did I mention the video is called It Feels So Good?   OH, YES IT DOES!!!!

     Haley Reinhart…safe! You Go Girl!

I was happy for her and like it that the ladies are still in it. Lauren has been consistent and sweet since the beginning and has done a good job of listening to the judges feedback to not hold back those high notes that we know all know she's got in her.

And I think everyone could agree that Haley is the unanimous MIP (Most Improved Player). She started off questionable top 24, would you believe that? She’s gotten better and better every week and every time she’s slipped up, she’s came back firing hard and achieved ultimate redemption. And it seems like she gets better looking every week. Either way, my attraction to her and her persistence in this show has moved her up on my totem pole, and while I love my peach Lauren, Halebop makes me fee like Hanson and want to MmmmBop.

     Omg guys. Scotty is safe…..GULP….. See below the ridiculousness Scotty's face brings to the table:

   So guys, James is gone. He was my fave to win it. And I thought he was the best contestant in the competition. (Haters welcome [AM]) He also is a family man and seems like a good person, and knowing what he has worked through in his life is incredible. So cool it was to see James in his element when performing. When he does, it looks like that's when he feels most comfortable, so I hope he continues to, Idol top 3 or not. Maybe he’s got some Daughtry in him?

     OK, time to flick Off on my sentimentality switch. While it is sad to see him go, we are finally down to our bottom 3! Over 4 months ago, whodathunk it’d be these 3? I knew Alaina was an immediate contender. Many of us liked Pia. In the beginning of the show, many liked Casey (that was short). There were voters out there that allowed Pitter patter kneecap Paul to stick around too long. I honestly thought Scotty was Woody, or Woody's son, or some other misshapen pixar chracter.

And for a while I wasn’t nuts about Haley (HS), until she started to step her game up.
       

           But America has voted, and our top 3 idol contestants are Lauren, Scotty and Haley. Job well done guys!

           And so it’s getting close to wrapping up… And do you know what next week’s show is going to be? Yeah, that’s right. It’s gon’ be a banger!! The usual.

So YO. dude…Check it.   DUDE…. Yo. Yo, yo. DUDE!!! Yo yo. YO! OK, So check it…………

“THESE KIDS ARE IN IT TO WIN IT!!!”

Samitz……….OUT

You're In Good Hands With Idolismologists

If you questioned whether or not you were in good hands, check out these healthy smiles from our judges and host! :)

Another night of excitement.... coming right up!

Contestants to Perform Leiber and Stoller Songs

And then there was 4.... Lauren, James, Haley and Scotty.....

    On this lovely Wednesday night, the contestants will perform songs from the Lieber and Stoller Songbook. Now, many of you might be scratching your head thinking, Leiber who? (I know, I did the too.)
    At first, my judge-mentality was aroused and immediately caused me to think negatively and question this theme choice. I was already carelessly assuming that tonight's show would suck, until I researched these fellas and found out that Lyricist Jerome "Jerry" Leiber and Composer Mike Stroller were both very accomplished and wrote 24 songs that appeared in the US charts during the Post- World War II era (Sergeant MW, RIP). 

    See this picture of Mike (left) and Jerry (right), fresh after a doobie session:

Some songs you may know:

• "Yackety Yack" by The Coasters - Whenever I hear this song, I'm reminded of John Candy (RIP) and Dan Ackroyd in The Great Outdoors...truly a classic!

•  "Jailhouse", "Hound Dog" and other quintessential songs by "The King" Elvis.

!!!!!!!!!! In the picture we see Elvis, with a severe case of "Moose Knuckles"...... <throw up taste in mouth>

• "There Goes My Baby" by The Drifters

Tons of great songs to choose from! But will the contestants choose the right ones? Which one will flourish? We shall see, tonight, LIVE! On American Idol.....................

See ya on stage. 

Samitz...............OUT