The show last night was "amazing!"

Idolisms-4/7/11
An Idoltorial Perspective by Andrew Samitz

   
       And so we have entered another night of performances... Seacrest was still rocking the straight and to the side comb over, but this time he brushed it to the right side (last week it was to the right). Why do I take note of these absurd details? I couldn't tell you! I thought it was cool how Steven Tyler did the narration for the Rock and Roll Hall of fame video clip, pointing out the great musicians (the artists were actually inside the mannequins.)
    Jacob - Dressed in all white, looking like a P.I.M.P.! (see pic)

But did he sing like a pimp? I didn't think he did. He at first was going to choose some let's get it on by Marvin Gaye, but then felt more comfortable with some MJ "Man in the mirror". To me, it was a poor switcheroo. His first note was bad, but he usually gets stronger as he goes, so I still had faith in him... But he didn't shine, Sayeeda, the woman he was singing with, was much better! His little humpty hump dance move (or hip thrust as Seacrest noted) was quite interesting. Pump those hips church boy! Haha, but maybe I'm being harsher critic on Jacob, because the judges still loved him. We shall see. Possible bottom 3 candidate....
    Haley - Yes Haley! She listened! And I think it worked out for her. My Curly Q sang some Janis Joplin, as requested, and killed it. Slightly screechy but I think that's how it was supposed to be. Really sweet musical arrangement with all the music stopping except for the drums and Haley still rocking it out. Added that spicy growl she's got! A demonstration of her Tiger Blood? Maybe? But she was good, and I thought J lo would break out her first "AMAZING" for her but she didn't. But YO, DUDE. YO. CHECK IT. DAWG.. DDUE! (You didn't think I'd break it out did you.) Loved it how Haley said "Thanks dog!" to Randy. It's about time somebody showed the dog a little bit o' love in return! Holla back!
    Casey - Oh Casey, Casey, Casey... In his video, Casey was a nervous wreck! Flustered as hell and unsure of chance to be an American idol, (nervous in front of will.i.am... but not millions of viewers... interesting) He needs to keep his head in the game. And I think he did in last night's performance! He broke out the stand up bass! (Knew Randall would love it) And the CCR song was a great pick! As the judges would say 'he made it his own.' Impressive singing with him hitting some real nice falsetto notes and incorporating those cool bluesy jazz riffs. Randy sure loved his fellow bassist. It was a pretty nice performance. But Casey dropped the ball at the end in the Seacrest interview, by expressing his need to make then judges proud first, and then America. Brilliant Casey, brilliant. That'll win you some votes! You scruffy ginger bastard you!
    Lauren - My little Lauren! My pretty little peach! Love Laur, think she is great, but what was up with the hairdoo?!?! Skunks nest on her head??? (Love you Holtzarella!) Anyways, Ken Paves would not be proud... I mean in the video, we see some newly added black streaks. It looks as if Peach is taking the goth approach. Interesting, not uber attractive, but I could totally live with it. But then, Lauren steps onto the stage and we see that the Amazon Rain Forest has Kerplunk; landed on her head! (see below)

She looked like Madonna with a pompadour. In a straight on frontal view of her, it looks as if she has a mullet with an afro puff in the front of her head. Her hair was frizzled, FO SHIZZLE! But she sang "Natural Woman" really nicely. Tough to pull off "The Queen of Soul", Aretha Franklin, but I think it was a solid performance with some crispy high notes! So, J Lo finally used her, now cliche word, "AMAZING!" I think she liked Lauren's hoochie-coochie hoop earrings! Job well done Lauren. Hopefully next time she hands out some peaches to the judges, simply by reaching in the rat's nest on her scalp and picking off peaches off the tree growing inside.
    James - I really liked his approach of going soft. Based on his past performances, the audience was probably anticipating some loud heavy rock 'n roll. I thought he'd do something like Kiss or Led Zepplin! Would have probably rocked it, but instead, he changed it up with a slower softer song, and got real in touch with his emotions, which I think the audience and judges felt as well. But his hair. Come on. This was the a back to back not cat walk, -Hair Walk- with Lauren going first and then James. Couldn't they have split it up with a commercial break??... Jeeze man, he looked a mix between Dennis the Menace, Adam Lambert and Sonic the Hedgehog with a splash of Bon Jovi.... (see pic)

But? He sang great, and his last high note at the end of his song was held really long and sounded outstanding! But were James tears after his song real, or fake? Whether he was acting or not, it definitely won him some votes.
    Scotty - Ok, so I figured out who Scotty looks like. Bobby from King of the Hill!! (See Below)

Scotty goes with Elvis. Very difficult to replicate, thus a ballsy choice. He picked the song "That's alright mama" which was a song I personally wasn't as familiar with, and being that much of the viewership for Idol is teenybopper girls, they probably didn't know it either, but they definitely loved it and love him! This was demonstrated by their on-stage ambush of Scotty after he performed. That definitely won him some votes! Woody has got some game! And I was happy Woody didn't get too excited and have an accident. !  But J lo felt his "flava'". I felt it too, but Scotty still for some reason give me the heebie jeebies. His creepy little stare... (see below) and that goofy ass smerk....

   
      Pia - Hear we go! Another sensational performance by my love. "River Deep Mountain High" was I believe the song that my rival idol blogger predicted she'd sing. Nice guess rival idol blogger... Now go home! Pia is smart. In her video it showed her after last week's performance already knowing what she was going to sing. She had it picked out early and that had to help her by allowing her more time to rehearse. I liked her outfit and necklace!

If she wore any more necklaces, she'd pass for a Paduang Longneck woman in the Mayan tribe and grow one of those giraffe sized necks!

Or......

If she did that, she'd be even more of a shoe-in to win it! But in terms of her singing, she was great and it was refreshing to see her scream and shout a little. And her last note she hit was crispy!! Krispy kreme....Mmmmmmmm.....donuts....(homer) ::mouth watering:: Back to Pia; she always gets a tougher critique because she is the best. As my dog Randy said, "YO, Pia is in it to win it!"     Win my heart? Done.
    Stefano - What up Percy Sledge! I like the name Percy. Stef sand Percy's  "When a man loves a woman" I'm familiar with the Michael Bolton version, played on repeat on B 101.1 back in the day...what up Philly!? Anywho, ever notice how Stefano always holds the microphone with his left hand and sticks his stupid right hand out as if he is trying to change the world? (see below)

And he is back to closing his eyes! (see below again)

Old habits might bite him in the ass! But I didn't mind his performance and still think Stefano has a good voice and has a nice look to him. J Lo broke out "amazing", yet again. Unreal Jennifer.... unreal. But the crowd wasn't that loud after he finished singing, so that signifies to me he might be in the bottom 3. Or is it 2 tonight? Wait a minute... hmmmpphhh. Ehhh, fall back ladies and gentlemen... we're sticking with 3!
    Paul - With Paul, we saved the best for last.... SIKE! Haha, Paul's pitter patter kneecap is back! Paul sang Johnny Cash, which I actually thought was a solid choice for the irregularly trembling kneecap... Oh, I mean for Paul, not just his kneecap... But really come on, there is no way Paulie doesn't have a conscious awareness that his kneecap tremulously quivers while performing... and it's starting to get a little ri-godamn-diculous! I mean, knee injuries aren't typically an obstacle in the life of a musical performer, but in Paul's case, he is in dire need of the Pod MX K700 Kneebrace (see below).

 Or maybe an intense kneebrace like this:

Hopefully, this is the last time we will have to see Paul, because he deserves the boot tonight. Of course J Lo used her word for him (the word is "amazing" if you just caught on). What will be amazing is his exit stage left tonight, loosening all tendons in his knee. If by some chance he sticks around, we will definitely have some Chondromalacia Patella         (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chondromalacia_patellae) "popping" off.....
   
       Alrighty folks, I'll see you out on the stage tonight. Should be a good results show. Pumped. More shall be revealed! Hope you are all having a fantastic Thursday. :)
          
                               Samitz.......... OUT