The Finalists Perform

Now it starts to count. The finalists of Season 11 are ready to bring it.

Seacrest's hair

 Party with a spiked punch bowl in the front, gobs of gel, and this time he used sun-in to create the frosted tips effect… This guy is brilliant!

The judges looking amazing! They always knock my socks off. 

But J Lo's vagina imprint, also known as camel toe; rocks my socks off even more. Before it gets out to US Weekly, you can get your exclusive gander at the toe of J Lo's camel, right here!

Jimmy is still a freak and Mary J is still da bomb (I'm bring back that old school lingo)

Girls

Elise Testone: Jimmy and Mary J don’t like her first choice and have her sing Whitney’s “I’m Your Baby Tonight.” She sucked. Just didn’t seem natural and she seemed like she was pushing at parts where she didn’t have to. And she was a bitch when talking to Jimmy and Mary J, followed by her pathetic making excuses to Ryan! 

J Lo didn’t think it was her best, Steven said it wasn’t great and something was missing and Randy thought she was boxing with the song.

It’s not her beauty, it’s her BOOTy.

Skylar Laine: She is singing “Where do Broken Hearts Go” by the Whit. She gives Mary goosebumps, but I don’t like her at all. She’s a verminesque, glittery, a psycho gerbil.

She reminds me of cottoned mouthed munchkin with heavy makeup and hoop earrings……. I saw one of those the other day. But this guy loved it and was macking hard:

The hipster Randall Cunningham Jr has got some serious game.
She might be one of these terrible ones that stick around because of the wack voting system. This girl is no Lauren Alaina. She gots to go!

J Lo says said she had composure but it was nasally, true. Steven said it was beautiful, surprise. Randy said she can sing any song.

Shannon Magrane: Shannon is a beast! She looks glittery and leathery and silvery and long. She’s blinging out her pleather, and even her earpiece has got a little bling!

She’s singing “I Have Nothing” by Whitney. For real, this girl can sing and has killed it in past performances, but she seemed real shook in this one! Didn’t feel good…I could see how inexperienced she was and was instantly turned off. But she does a have a mean crossover on the basketball court:

I still think she’s a contender because she’s got appeal to the youngins, and even the male teen bop vote too. This is her about to dominate Seacrest... all 5'3" of him:

I thought she was my Pia of this year, except I could tap Pia, and I can’t tap Shannon. And Pia got the boot and when that happened, we stopped hooking up.

Oh, and the judges thought she blew too.

Hollie Cavanaugh: Singing “All the Man”. I like this song a lot, one of my fave Whitney songs. Hollie rhoto? That’s mean, I’m sorry. I like Hollie though and think she has a crazy big voice! And she is cute too, but I feel like I’m hopping on the bandwagon if I blow her up too much. She’s hyped up right now in the early stages of this long season. Check out her version of hyped:

Randy said she took on Whitney’s big song and nailed it, J Lo said she might be the one and Steven said she has been nailing it every time……….Wait what are we talking about here??

Jessica Sanchez: She is singing Whitney’s biggest hit, “I Will Always Love You.” She’s ballsy, and I like it! And I think she is cute but I sometimes want to chew on her teeth because I think they are white mint chiclets. 

But her performance was outstanding and I think she is definitely in it to win it. She is my frontrunner.

Randy said it was the best vocal of the night, J Lo broke out her “amazing” and Steven said she might be the one. They ate her up. I would.

Erika Van Pelt: She sings Whitney’s “I Believe in You and Me.” She has a pretty unique tone and sounded good at the higher parts, but the low voice notes remind me of a knock off poor woman’s and not even close Cher. And she’s blonde and we still have too many, so we need to get her and her lazy eye out.

The judges liked it a lot more than I did….Randy said she was amazing, J Lo had gooseys and Steven said it was perfect and thinks she’s great.

Guys

Jermaine Jones: Singing “Knocks Me Off My Feet” by Stevie Wonder. I love Stevie but didn’t love the song. Jermaine was extremely sweaty, as evidenced here:

Jermaine’s got a great deep voice and it’s cool to have in the show, but the fact that they “brought him back”, there is a bias that he actually does suck, so to me, he will always be a loser. But he is nice guy and can get his job back at MAC if he does indeed get the boot.

Steven said the song fit him like an Armani suit, J Lo said she wanted him to connect with the song more and Randy said he didn’t enjoy the chorus.

Colton: Singing “Lately” by Stevie. This is totally out of his element, so I was am amped to see the performance, but the song is slow, so my amp is pretty low… but Colton hit some nice power notes and had a great falsetto at the end! I’m on Team Mohawk, this guy is legit.

Steven said it was beautiful and well done, J Lo looked incredible. And said it was great. Randy said it wasn’t picture perfect but loved his falsetto too.

Joshua Ledet: “I Wish” by Stevie Wonder. He tore it up and was great when he scatted! He had some really sick runs and was entertaining in a flaming sort of way. Really great way to start off the show, but he might be a bit too churchy for me. He also looks kind of creepy here, but his breath right strip is healing nicely:

Randy said it was flavaless and flawless, J Lo looked amazing and said she “feels it” and Steven said he brought it home and nailed it.

Heejoon: Singing “All in love is fair?” I like Heejoon! He is a goofy bastard and makes everyone laugh, but I also think he has an incredible voice. But this performance put me to sleep! And it made me feel uncomfortable at points where he grunted, like this one:

J Lo said “I Love you”. His fortune cookie came true! Steven said that something about his voice is special. Randy said it wasn’t perfect, but it was really good.

I think Heejoon will stick around for a while because of his voice and because he is hilarious, but moreso the latter.

Phillip Phillips: Phil is singing “Superstition” by Stevie. Phil puts a whole different spin on it. He is a rockhead. Or just a stoner. But I like it when he just falls in the music while strumming his guitar, looking all like Dave Matthews. 

And sounding like him too…. But maybe a little too much? I like Phil. And the small percentage of country crock neo hippie chicks that vote for him because they think he’s a hunk with good pot.

Steven said “you just are”, J Lo said he made it his own and killed it, Randy said he is the most different artist and he loved it.

Kris Humphries: Deandre. He is singing “Master Blaster” by Stevie Wonder, and this is one of my favorite songs ever! Here is Kris aka Lil Keke, or Deandre.

I like this kid! He got IRIE on the stage and I was blogging like a nerd and almost knocked my laptop over! But was it just entertaining watching Humphries perform, or does this kid actually have enough to be in it to win it?

Steven likes his Jamaican vibe, J Lo liked it a lot, Randy said YO, dude… YO, Check it.

Job well done.

Jeremy Rosado: He is singing “Rhythm in the Sky” by Stevie. Jeremy is soft as hell. His earlobes are like a thermopedic pillow! His lobes almost started a fight with his ear plugs! Jeremy’s lobes are fluffy. I can’t even listen to his voice I just want to pet his lobe!

J Lo said she loves to hear his interpretations of songs, Randy said it wasn’t his best and he didn’t believe it, Steven agreed.

What an awesome night! I really enjoyed tonight’s performances and am officially in full out active addiction to American Idol and the world of Idolisms.

Now it’s time to bring on the boot crew!

Unfortunately I won’t be able to post a blog entry for tomorrows results. I’ll be moving on up in life and will temporarily lose access to a television.

Goodnight Idolisms.

Samitz… OUT