Idolismers,
Whoa! Apologies for the delay on this Idolisms entry! Didn't mean to put you on the edge of your seat for so long! I needed to digest the reality that I would be putting the book of Idolismology down for a bit...
The world of Idolisms has come to an end.... and a country singers journey is just beginning. Check out our final two:
Seacrest still has got on the bow tie and the hair is more of a wavy spike with plenty of bedhead.
Randy: white dinner jacket and black bow tie, much better than last night!
J Lo: Gold glitter, lots of cleavage, looks fabulous.
Steven: Popped collar and lots of silver beaded necklaces.
Lauren and Scotty come out holding hands, again! Why? This is supposed to be a war of attrition! Righttt.... But really, have they been hooking up????
Lauren’s got her silver Raiders thang shirt going again with a white pant suit, and Scotty has got the young Elvis look going with his white shirt and pants.
Nice to see the top girls all on stage together... A good look bunching, some fantastic singers, others, not so much. They were singing Lady Gaga’s “Born this way”
Pia was in the middle of the crew and was of course, IN IT TO WIN IT. To me, she was, in my opinion, the most talented and marketable singer. And best looking, edging Haley out in everything by a smidgeon.
And after the ladies all perform, just James Durbin is back in the game and performing with Judas Priest. I guess we are giving heavy metal a chance?
It was cool to see James back in his element. See part of James's journey and the performance below:
Jacob Lusk, Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight perform a song called "Smile" next, which I hoped would be a shining moment for him Jacob, and he takes it to church!
This is where Jacob will thrive if he controls his flamboyancy. Dude's got some potential, and definitely has a strong voice; see it:
The next performance was Casey Abrams and Jack Black in which they song, something I love, “Fat Bottomed Girls!” It was entertaining, particularly because they were wearing the same outfits and are both scruffy bastards!
Jack was vocally dominant, but I did like Casey’s scatting and think he isn’t certain to get plenty of gigs in Jazz clubs. I'd go to Warmdaddy's and see him! Peep it:
The ladies of American Idol are on again! Looking sexy in black and red this time and singing Beyonce’s “Put a ring on it”, and then switching it up with“To the Left.” Other popped-off hits by the International bombshell Beyoare sang. They sound pretty good and I love Beyonce.
It appears Haley stole the Kurt Cobain looking Violinists garter belt because she is now rocking it, and is looking mint! And Pia was dressed as the sexy former G streeter Anna! With holes cut out above her hips and shoulders. Sexy.
Then Beyonce herself comes out and just steals the show! She is friggin’ gorgeous and a mega-platinum bombshell, that I’m sure all of these girls strive to be like.
Haley and Tony Bennett perform next. Interesting couple! I liked the Jazzy hooks and two-step choreography they had going.
"To the windoowwwww, to the wall! And sweat drip down my....." Lil Jon pops on stage for about 8 seconds, giving the audience plenty of time to see what a nut this guy is. He then runs off the stage.. I guess to start sippin’ his crunk juice? He couldn't do that with all of those minors around!
Heeeeyaaayeeahhhhh!! OK! WHOOOOWWHHHATTT! This was followed by TLC (no Left Eye Lisa-RIP) They were singing the song "No Scrubs"...was this about Lil' Jon? Could be... They also then sang some of their other hits...Who chose these performers??? Eerily random batches of success from the past. See a video of the whole Lil Jon TLC action below:
In a later performance, Scotty comes out with Tim McGraw (what up Tug! Go Phils!) and they do a duet of one of Tim's biggest hits, “Live Like You Were Dying”, which I actually enjoyed a lot.
Tim was all ripped up in his tight tee and his nicely kempt beard. Scotty was wishing he could grow facial hair, but his voice was sounding pretty good, so I’ll cut the mongoloid baby face some slack.
J Lo’s hubby Marc Anthony performs next... He looks a mix between Steve Buschemi and a crackhead, but his wife is incredible.
He sings in all Spanish and I’m really not enjoying it too much...until J Lo comes out on stage and makes her booty clap for like 30 seconds straight!
Perfect time for her favorite word usage of, AMAZING! See it Jen shake what her Mama gave her right here!
All I gotta say is Mark is one lucky dude...
The guys amongst the top 11 are now performing. This was certainly a year with a lot of talented fellas, I have to say.
Stefano starts it off with a sweet falsetto! He can rip it. I miss the little puppy and wish him success. Paul seems to have more control of his kneecap now (he wasn't wearing his knee brace) and as a group, they sounded solid... but the girls performance together was much more entertaining... that is until Tom Jones joins the guys out on stage!
Lady Gaga takes the stage next, singing her new single, “The Edge of Glory.” Of course she is her usual absurd self wearing an ugly chandelier on her head, with silver hanging beads as if she was trying to look like a hippie doorway...
She takes it off and exposes her silver studded stripper outfit and long blond extensions. By the way, she is singing on top of a quasi-realistic looking mountain, standing at the edge of a cliff, with a creepy guy leering behind:
And then he starts molesting her! See the evidence:
Is this a horrifying attempt to imitate Cirque du Soleil’s Zumanity??? A bit inappropriate for an American Idol show where the majority of the audience has a severe case of teeny boppage! And as the performance is ending, Lady Gaga and the molester commit suicide by jumping off the mountain?? Dude, that ain’t right.......
Next up is Lauren performing with her own idol, and former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood.
In the beginning of the song, I can barely hear Lauren, as she holds the microphone as if her voice is coming from under her chin. But then the peachy sweet girl starts shaking her peace tree and she breaks out that country swang America loves!
Underwood looks hot, glittery and sounds great. Her tan is soooo even! How does she do that!? My hope for Lauren is that her singing career is half as successful as Carrie’s. But I give Lauren props for sticking with her and doing pretty damn good. See for yourself:
And next, Beyonce is back!! Singing 1+1..... 1+1, me + her? I mean we’re both in it to win it, so I think we could make it work... And it seems like she wants it to work it with me because she repeatedly is singing to me, “Make Love to Me.” ::blushes:: Look at her!
Whoa there.... I think you know what this woman is... that's right.... In it to win it? And as the great (?!) Charlie Sheen says, "WINNING."
Bono’s in town! A Spiderman song composed by Bono and The Edge starts. It sounds like the James Bond theme, and all of a sudden, out of a nowhere, Spiderman himself lands from the sky and into the crowd!
He then proceeds to jump on Seacrest’s back, where he then starts tangling his web around Ryan's neck! He is choking the hell out of him, that is until Bono breaks out his death grip and rips Spiderman off Ryan!! Where Bono then proceeds to stomp on his face in the stage repeatedly........
But it's tough to make out the intensity in his eyes because of the slight tint on classic Bono Emporio Armani shades....
As Spiderman is hurled onto the stage, Bono is stomping the hell out of him and it is said that for every successful stomp, he donated $10,000 to "Idol Gives Back." Due to graphic violence, I was only able to recover the edited version. See it here:
In the last performance of the night, before the results, our man Steven Tyler is seated at the piano, performing my favorite Aerosmith song, “Dream On.” Then he starts jammin' out... The dude’s still got it! A friggin' rockstar. Look at him!
He is like Mick Jagger, but more frog-like. Hey Steven, (“u da bomb!”~J.S.) He will never die, and he rips it up in his performance! See the performance here:
It's a very short version of the song because apparently Steven's vocals were a little sore. He was a very unique judge this year. Charming, hilarious and bizarre. I want him back next year for sure.
Speaking of our judges, let’s take a brief look to honor them... As said, Steven was off the wall at times but very charming in his own way. The video clip referred to him as “The Loose Cannon.” He had some incredible quotes this season! (I’ll be writing a blog entry of his top quotes at some point.)
Next, my fave of the judges Randy Jackson aka “The Veteran”. I mean dude, come on.... Obviously we know he is in it to win it! YO, he kills it every night! The video playing shows multiple clips of him exclaiming "_______ is in it to win it! YO... DUDE, I loved it! Hilarious.
And last we have Jennifer Lopez aka “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” where they showed clips of auditioners telling her how beautiful she is....
After the clip, Jen stood up to wave to the crowd, but when she tries to sit back down in her seat, she needs Randy and Steven to each push a butt cheek inward so she is able to fit back in... Not a bad gig them! See for yourself below how hard this maneuver must've been:
We then saw some hilarious clips of horrific Idol auditions, commentated by Ryan’s protege Joe (a strange fella who auditioned for Idol and wearing a tux jacket with khaki shorts in birkenstocks.....mmmmmkkkkk...
Whoa! Apologies for the delay on this Idolisms entry! Didn't mean to put you on the edge of your seat for so long! I needed to digest the reality that I would be putting the book of Idolismology down for a bit...
The world of Idolisms has come to an end.... and a country singers journey is just beginning. Check out our final two:
 |
Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery |
The Finale
Seacrest still has got on the bow tie and the hair is more of a wavy spike with plenty of bedhead.
Randy: white dinner jacket and black bow tie, much better than last night!
J Lo: Gold glitter, lots of cleavage, looks fabulous.
Steven: Popped collar and lots of silver beaded necklaces.
Lauren and Scotty come out holding hands, again! Why? This is supposed to be a war of attrition! Righttt.... But really, have they been hooking up????
 |
Sweet jacket Scotty.... Did you grip that from Jimmy? And Lauren looks cuddly |
Performances:
Nice to see the top girls all on stage together... A good look bunching, some fantastic singers, others, not so much. They were singing Lady Gaga’s “Born this way”
Pia was in the middle of the crew and was of course, IN IT TO WIN IT. To me, she was, in my opinion, the most talented and marketable singer. And best looking, edging Haley out in everything by a smidgeon.
And after the ladies all perform, just James Durbin is back in the game and performing with Judas Priest. I guess we are giving heavy metal a chance?
It was cool to see James back in his element. See part of James's journey and the performance below:
Jacob Lusk, Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight perform a song called "Smile" next, which I hoped would be a shining moment for him Jacob, and he takes it to church!
This is where Jacob will thrive if he controls his flamboyancy. Dude's got some potential, and definitely has a strong voice; see it:
The next performance was Casey Abrams and Jack Black in which they song, something I love, “Fat Bottomed Girls!” It was entertaining, particularly because they were wearing the same outfits and are both scruffy bastards!
Jack was vocally dominant, but I did like Casey’s scatting and think he isn’t certain to get plenty of gigs in Jazz clubs. I'd go to Warmdaddy's and see him! Peep it:
The ladies of American Idol are on again! Looking sexy in black and red this time and singing Beyonce’s “Put a ring on it”, and then switching it up with“To the Left.” Other popped-off hits by the International bombshell Beyoare sang. They sound pretty good and I love Beyonce.
It appears Haley stole the Kurt Cobain looking Violinists garter belt because she is now rocking it, and is looking mint! And Pia was dressed as the sexy former G streeter Anna! With holes cut out above her hips and shoulders. Sexy.
Then Beyonce herself comes out and just steals the show! She is friggin’ gorgeous and a mega-platinum bombshell, that I’m sure all of these girls strive to be like.
Haley and Tony Bennett perform next. Interesting couple! I liked the Jazzy hooks and two-step choreography they had going.
Musically, this is the direction Haley needs to go. The jazzy/bluesy/rockish type genre. Though I don’t suggest her doing duets with 85 year old men.. even though Tony looked fantastic! It was a nice little show they put on together. See it here:
"To the windoowwwww, to the wall! And sweat drip down my....." Lil Jon pops on stage for about 8 seconds, giving the audience plenty of time to see what a nut this guy is. He then runs off the stage.. I guess to start sippin’ his crunk juice? He couldn't do that with all of those minors around!
Heeeeyaaayeeahhhhh!! OK! WHOOOOWWHHHATTT! This was followed by TLC (no Left Eye Lisa-RIP) They were singing the song "No Scrubs"...was this about Lil' Jon? Could be... They also then sang some of their other hits...Who chose these performers??? Eerily random batches of success from the past. See a video of the whole Lil Jon TLC action below:
In a later performance, Scotty comes out with Tim McGraw (what up Tug! Go Phils!) and they do a duet of one of Tim's biggest hits, “Live Like You Were Dying”, which I actually enjoyed a lot.
Tag team dude!
Check out their video clip below:Tim was all ripped up in his tight tee and his nicely kempt beard. Scotty was wishing he could grow facial hair, but his voice was sounding pretty good, so I’ll cut the mongoloid baby face some slack.
J Lo’s hubby Marc Anthony performs next... He looks a mix between Steve Buschemi and a crackhead, but his wife is incredible.
He sings in all Spanish and I’m really not enjoying it too much...until J Lo comes out on stage and makes her booty clap for like 30 seconds straight!
Perfect time for her favorite word usage of, AMAZING! See it Jen shake what her Mama gave her right here!
All I gotta say is Mark is one lucky dude...
The guys amongst the top 11 are now performing. This was certainly a year with a lot of talented fellas, I have to say.
Stefano starts it off with a sweet falsetto! He can rip it. I miss the little puppy and wish him success. Paul seems to have more control of his kneecap now (he wasn't wearing his knee brace) and as a group, they sounded solid... but the girls performance together was much more entertaining... that is until Tom Jones joins the guys out on stage!
It certainly was unusual...........
She takes it off and exposes her silver studded stripper outfit and long blond extensions. By the way, she is singing on top of a quasi-realistic looking mountain, standing at the edge of a cliff, with a creepy guy leering behind:
And then he starts molesting her! See the evidence:
Is this a horrifying attempt to imitate Cirque du Soleil’s Zumanity??? A bit inappropriate for an American Idol show where the majority of the audience has a severe case of teeny boppage! And as the performance is ending, Lady Gaga and the molester commit suicide by jumping off the mountain?? Dude, that ain’t right.......
Next up is Lauren performing with her own idol, and former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood.
In the beginning of the song, I can barely hear Lauren, as she holds the microphone as if her voice is coming from under her chin. But then the peachy sweet girl starts shaking her peace tree and she breaks out that country swang America loves!
Underwood looks hot, glittery and sounds great. Her tan is soooo even! How does she do that!? My hope for Lauren is that her singing career is half as successful as Carrie’s. But I give Lauren props for sticking with her and doing pretty damn good. See for yourself:
And next, Beyonce is back!! Singing 1+1..... 1+1, me + her? I mean we’re both in it to win it, so I think we could make it work... And it seems like she wants it to work it with me because she repeatedly is singing to me, “Make Love to Me.” ::blushes:: Look at her!
Whoa there.... I think you know what this woman is... that's right.... In it to win it? And as the great (?!) Charlie Sheen says, "WINNING."
Bono’s in town! A Spiderman song composed by Bono and The Edge starts. It sounds like the James Bond theme, and all of a sudden, out of a nowhere, Spiderman himself lands from the sky and into the crowd!
He then proceeds to jump on Seacrest’s back, where he then starts tangling his web around Ryan's neck! He is choking the hell out of him, that is until Bono breaks out his death grip and rips Spiderman off Ryan!! Where Bono then proceeds to stomp on his face in the stage repeatedly........
But it's tough to make out the intensity in his eyes because of the slight tint on classic Bono Emporio Armani shades....
As Spiderman is hurled onto the stage, Bono is stomping the hell out of him and it is said that for every successful stomp, he donated $10,000 to "Idol Gives Back." Due to graphic violence, I was only able to recover the edited version. See it here:
In the last performance of the night, before the results, our man Steven Tyler is seated at the piano, performing my favorite Aerosmith song, “Dream On.” Then he starts jammin' out... The dude’s still got it! A friggin' rockstar. Look at him!
He is like Mick Jagger, but more frog-like. Hey Steven, (“u da bomb!”~J.S.) He will never die, and he rips it up in his performance! See the performance here:
It's a very short version of the song because apparently Steven's vocals were a little sore. He was a very unique judge this year. Charming, hilarious and bizarre. I want him back next year for sure.
Speaking of our judges, let’s take a brief look to honor them... As said, Steven was off the wall at times but very charming in his own way. The video clip referred to him as “The Loose Cannon.” He had some incredible quotes this season! (I’ll be writing a blog entry of his top quotes at some point.)
Next, my fave of the judges Randy Jackson aka “The Veteran”. I mean dude, come on.... Obviously we know he is in it to win it! YO, he kills it every night! The video playing shows multiple clips of him exclaiming "_______ is in it to win it! YO... DUDE, I loved it! Hilarious.
And last we have Jennifer Lopez aka “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” where they showed clips of auditioners telling her how beautiful she is....
This is a picture of her in her performance of her club banger "On the Floor."
Ganaria en ella!
After the clip, Jen stood up to wave to the crowd, but when she tries to sit back down in her seat, she needs Randy and Steven to each push a butt cheek inward so she is able to fit back in... Not a bad gig them! See for yourself below how hard this maneuver must've been:
We then saw some hilarious clips of horrific Idol auditions, commentated by Ryan’s protege Joe (a strange fella who auditioned for Idol and wearing a tux jacket with khaki shorts in birkenstocks.....mmmmmkkkkk...
Some people love watching the awful auditions, others hate it. I’m a lover. It’s where I pick out my early favorites, and find superstars like Pat Ford singing Britney’s “Womanizer...(see video of Pat shouting "HOLLERRRRR!" in one of the previous blog entries.)
We cut to a commercial after the recaps of funny auditions and Ryan is standing in the audience alongside who but, Warren Sapp?? Why??? I pause it and glance around to realize more random as hell people are attending the finale! Of course their are normies like David Cook, Lee DeWyze and other former contestants and successful musicians; but then I see David Copperfield (and then he disappears), Lebron and Tiger are sitting next to each other (holding hands????) and in front of them is Al Gore sitting next to OJ Simpson?? Quite the strange bunch of Idol lovers, but dude, you've gotta love the diversity.
And finally.... the moment we have all been waiting for......THE RESULTS!! The show was dragged out and must have been painful for Lauren, for she is on the verge of tears already, as usual. And Scotty is standing there looking cool and confident, enormous cranium and all. Well spoken Sir Edward Boddington (great beer) comes out with the envelope, Seacrest says to dim the lights...... and they cut to a COMMERCIAL....
SIKE!!! AHH! That would've sucked! The suspense would've been piercing...
Seacrest opens the envelope and reads......
::gulp:: ::throw up taste:: But hey, good for him! He worked hard for it! And remember that music teacher guy who made top 24 but did that horrifying Usher that turned him down in the group auditions?? HA! Salyt.
I hated Scotty him the whole time because of how goofy he looked, and somehow he managed to still pull off the win. So I give him credit... And I'll try not to let this decimate my view on Idol too much, but I do think there were other contestants more worthy of winning, and I'm not alluding to Lauren.... although she was my fave since the beginning of our Idolisms journey....
Scotty was in it to win it the whole time. I'm still not a fan at all and wouldn't be caught dead in Sam Goodies buying his CD. But I do wish him the best and see glimmers of success in his future......
But wait; all of a sudden, Lauren grabs all of the attention away by grabbing Scotty’s head and starts to make out with him on stage!
We cut to a commercial after the recaps of funny auditions and Ryan is standing in the audience alongside who but, Warren Sapp?? Why??? I pause it and glance around to realize more random as hell people are attending the finale! Of course their are normies like David Cook, Lee DeWyze and other former contestants and successful musicians; but then I see David Copperfield (and then he disappears), Lebron and Tiger are sitting next to each other (holding hands????) and in front of them is Al Gore sitting next to OJ Simpson?? Quite the strange bunch of Idol lovers, but dude, you've gotta love the diversity.
And finally.... the moment we have all been waiting for......THE RESULTS!! The show was dragged out and must have been painful for Lauren, for she is on the verge of tears already, as usual. And Scotty is standing there looking cool and confident, enormous cranium and all. Well spoken Sir Edward Boddington (great beer) comes out with the envelope, Seacrest says to dim the lights...... and they cut to a COMMERCIAL....
SIKE!!! AHH! That would've sucked! The suspense would've been piercing...
Seacrest opens the envelope and reads......
SCOTTY MCCREERY WINS!
::gulp:: ::throw up taste:: But hey, good for him! He worked hard for it! And remember that music teacher guy who made top 24 but did that horrifying Usher that turned him down in the group auditions?? HA! Salyt.
I hated Scotty him the whole time because of how goofy he looked, and somehow he managed to still pull off the win. So I give him credit... And I'll try not to let this decimate my view on Idol too much, but I do think there were other contestants more worthy of winning, and I'm not alluding to Lauren.... although she was my fave since the beginning of our Idolisms journey....
Scotty was in it to win it the whole time. I'm still not a fan at all and wouldn't be caught dead in Sam Goodies buying his CD. But I do wish him the best and see glimmers of success in his future......
But wait; all of a sudden, Lauren grabs all of the attention away by grabbing Scotty’s head and starts to make out with him on stage!
He doesn't appear to be declining the kiss and it looks mutual. Lauren is definitely the aggressor and is kissing him as if she was a Tyrannnosaurus Rex gettin' some! It's getting so graphic and absurd that I start thinking that it is all staged (Seacrest produced, of course), or at least America and I are hoping it is.... but it’s starts to get hot and heavy and entirely inappropriate, especially for two honor roll students.... Is this really happening? ::cotton mouth taste now:: It is.
We hear Ryan in the background screaming "Cut to commercial, cut to commercial!!" The screen goes blank.....
..............................
According to the Idolism Street Journal, this obscene footage leaked on the internet for a millisecond...and apparently there was only one person who was able to get a hold of it in time. And get this Idolismers.... It was me... and you can see it first hand, next year in the world of Idolisms, 2012!
Hope ya stick around, the Idolisming is just beginning.......................
Samitz.................... Out
..............................
According to the Idolism Street Journal, this obscene footage leaked on the internet for a millisecond...and apparently there was only one person who was able to get a hold of it in time. And get this Idolismers.... It was me... and you can see it first hand, next year in the world of Idolisms, 2012!
Hope ya stick around, the Idolisming is just beginning.......................
Samitz.................... Out
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