I Knew It’d Be A Banger!: The Top 5 Idolalysis

Whoa dude! This show was awesome! It started off completely different with the judges already sitting in their thrones ( Coca Cola cup? ) and the contestants waving to you, and the rest of America. And you were questioning the idea that this show would be a banger?? Pfftttt.

            Interest outfit J Lo was wearing…. She looked like a Hawaiian Pilgrim. Pretty flower in her hair, but really Jen? Randy went with the grey natural fiber jacket, Steven, red leather. (Couldn't even find a pictures, unbelievable)

Seacrests hair: Minimal gel frontal view, loads of Aveda top and side!

            Ahh and finally we get the up close and personal of the contestants that we all were waiting for… And it begins:

Round 1: FIGHT! (Mortal Kombat)

            Cheryl Crow is running things this week. I didn’t know she started off her career as a backup singer for Michael Jackson? She's a pretty lady.

            JAMES- “Closer to the Edge” by 30 Seconds to Mars [My So Called Life]

We cut to the video clip and I am blown away Producer Jimmy guy isn’t wearing a leather jacket… he’s now rocking a hoodie! Anyways, James is turned away from the camera and throws his hands in the air,wrist band and all. He is wearing his favorite Billy Idol studded Cut off that has GIVE METAL across the back.........

Is he being a fake rocker? (AM) It was by far my least favorite performance of his and he butchered it at times, but it was still pretty good. Steven liked it, J Lo said take it and I was surprised but Randy liked it too.

           

JACOB- “No Air" by Idol Winner Jordin Sparxx and Chris Brown (Rhianna beater)

Jacob was representing gays in the military in his black sailor blazer.

 Jacob, great posture in Seacrest interview, really man. I was nervous for him and for a good reason! He did the Jordin Sparxx part the entire time. He chose a song that was a duet and didn’t even have a partner! (It’s said that he has now put an ad on Craigslist.) I enjoyed the background singers a helluva lot more than Jacob! Steven, not a hard rip, Randy was on my boat and thought it was corny and J Lo turned the Paula on Simon into the Jen on Randall and attempted to defend Jacob. Goner. See ya!

LAUREN- “Flat On the Floor” by Idol winner Carrie Underwood

In the video clip, Lauren is wearing Jimmy’s leather jacket which allowed us to find out the reason Jimmy was rocking the under armor hoodie. Lauren then comes out on the stage dressed with her big hoop earings! 

I thought she was going to sing Hoops there it is (Whoop there it is remix). She didn’t. And now we see a Kurt Cobaine looking violinist wearing a garter belt…Why???? Lauren looks pretty and confident in her stylish belt with silver tallit hanging from it… She sounded raspy, but a good raspy! She had that country swang goin’ on and I liked it a lot! Steven said she was IT, Randy said “YO” 17 times to her and then called her man instead of dude. J Lo thought she repped. Lauren brought it!

Scotty- “Gone” by Montgomery Gentry

He chose a sgng with title that I hope comes true. The little bit that I watched felt like a budget attempt at Hank Williams Jr’s Monday Night Football intro. FF to judges. They loved it... ::grinding teeth:: Randy said he was in it to win it and Steven thought he was a puritan until he saw that… and J Lo was blown away! Oh boy.... I was sickened. I hate Scotty.

HALEY-“You and I” (Unreleased) by Lady Gaga

Haley is dressed like a glitterbug. Sexy outfit. Cool bracelets and ring pop rings!

She looked really good but didn’t really represent the unreleased track that well. I didn’t love her singing, but the electric guitarist was sweet to listen to and hilarious to look at! It's been confirmed that he indeed was able to squeeze something out. Haley didn’t wow J Lo, and I felt bad for her because she usually smiles from criticism, but she looked pretty sad L. Randy said it was risky and didn’t do her any favors and Steven was charming as usual even though we could tell he wasn’t in any way blown away by it.

Round 2: FIGHT!

JAMES-“Without You” by Harry Nilsson

In the video clip he broke down. He is a sensitive and emotional cat and a family man. Was he faking it?? No way, I bought it and I felt it. It was real. The performance started off with James’s mouth wide open, revealing the fang hanging from his no-so-great teeth. 

Idol will fix that…(Yeah that’s right, I’m talking to you Elliot Yamin!) I thought James did an incredible job… it was awesome. And the audience and judges thought so too. But will America? Steven said his “beautiful” which is his version of J Lo's "amazing." Randy said his cliché “in it to win it” and J Lo thought so too and said he was a true artist.

            Seacrest promotes Top 11 tour. We going??? I’m in! …That’d be a sweet blog entry.

JACOB- “Love Hurts” by Nazareth

Jacob had on a fresh suit this time and actually looked pretty slim in it. 

He broke out a little rock genre and the Kermit the frog mouth was back…I actually enjoyed him for a second. It was a sweet attempt at redemption. 
And then we flash to Anthony Hopkins…why Clarisse why?? 
Jacob looked all serious when the judges were about to grill but when they all congratulated him (nice way of saying great last attempt before “the boot”) he got all overly feminine and clicked his heels! Bye Bye.

LAUREN- “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers

I really liked it that she said it was her parents song and she was singing it to them…I'd love to sing a song to my parents. She had the flower power ring bling and was wearing a baby blue? and white striped ballroom gown. 

She was solid again and she will be sticking around. J Lo stole Stevens's “beautiful”, Steven could listen to it all night and Randy liked it too.

                                        SCOTTY- “Always On My Mind” by Elvis

FF to judges. Don’t get me wrong, I got mad respect for Elvis! But I don’t want any part of Scotty. Ahhh! I press play too early and see teeny boppers holding up I <3 Scotty signs! J Lo thought he was well rounded, Randy said he was the youngest veteran and Steven said he took us down the trail…what trail was he talking about? Hopefully the trail to Gone!

HALEY- “House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals

Came out fired up with paint on her jeans and the same tubular bracelets and rings. 

She was ready and her vocals were sick. She killed it! I was so happy for her because she got ripped in the first song but really “SLEIGHED IT” in this one. The song had some really awesome pizzicato and the organ rocked too (Go Flyers! L)It was an ill interpretation of the song and I loved it. Standing ovation from the judges. They loved it too. Steven said she was sweet and sour and sold it, J Lo said no one has ever sang the song like that and Randy said it was the ultimate redemption! Fitting she was number 10. I gave her performance a 10! And while she’s not quite a dime, she’s up there, and is definitely HOT. Oh, and she blew a kiss to me while her number appeared on the screen.

By the far the best Idol show this season. Maybe ever? Maybe not, but certainly incredible!

I’ll see you guys tonight.

Samitz…………..OUT